It isn't easy being a business owner or an entrepreneur. We live in a world where the markets are growing daily, our client's and customer's needs and wants are cross-wired, and oftentimes ethics seems to be the last thing on anyone's list. Things can get confusing, fast. Especially if we CARE at all about what we are doing.
That seems to really get us in trouble. Until now.
Because not only do we care about the product or service we are offering, we also care about the WHY, the intention, of the company. And we not only care about our clients and customers, we also care about the relationships we have with employee's and partners.
So often our desire in opening our own business or expanding was to CREATE more freedom... and then we spend the majority of time putting out the fires of miscommunication, over-passionate expressions (oftentimes our own!) and all those unintended consequences...
Now, I am not here to discourage you from owning or starting your own business. Quite the contrary. It has been one of the biggest spiritual undertakings for me to step into Conscious Creative Capitalism, and I now am a Communication and Relationship Coach Practitioner on the very subject. And I say all of this, because there is HOPE! I have walked down this fire path, and I want so share the BEST insights that my clients and I have discovered together along the way. And also this passion, this care that you have, can HELP you be an AMAZING communicator in business and in all of your relationships. With some insight and focus, you will see how you can turn these once difficult attributes into fuel for your business (and relationship) engine!
So here's the short and sweet list of "How to be amazing at Communication in your Business (and pretty much all Relationships)":
- Identify and upgrade your own self-limiting beliefs
- Practice really getting their map (learn to listen to what was actually being said)
- Discover and start every conversation with "The Common Why"
1. Get through to those Limiting Beliefs.
What is a Limiting Belief? Well, it is the basis of what we we work with in WLnlp. It is any belief that we have about ourself or the world that confines to to behave in safe, small ways.
For example, I had a difficult time giving my business partner feedback, because I had the fear that he would not accept it, and turn it around as a criticism on me.
I did WLnlp work on SELF ACCEPTANCE and cleared up my need to get that "outside of myself" stamp of approval. I was then able to approach him without needing the VALIDATION from him about my work. I could also give him constructive feedback without fear of retaliation. The final benefit I saw from clearing my self-limiting beliefs specifically was that I was also able to ask for recognition for my work without that neediness vibe that we are ALL sensitive too. I could state my desire, without the worry that it would or would not be met. And in the stating of it, the need for it to be JUST THE WAY I THOUGHT I NEEDED IT, was gone. It was SO FREEING. Just asking for what I needed became the way to fulfill the need. WLnlp is the deep inner work that I dove into to get really clear on how to do this. You can find out more about it by clicking here.
2. Practice Getting their Map of Reality
Everyone has a Map of Reality.
Your Map is different then my Map.
However, we have similarities. You are reading and understanding the language that I am sharing with you now. You obviously have some interest in business and communication. You also are probably someone who wants to focus on high-performance/transformational leadership for optimal health, wealth, and well being.
In Amazing Business Communication, your focus needs to be the MAP. First your's. Which comes through knowing yourself. Meditation, self-work, introspection, Journaling, and WLnlp are all amazing ways to start to exercise this relationship with yourself.
Your second - and just as important focus is - THEIR MAP.
What is their Map of Reality? How is it similar to yours? How is it different? What question(s) could you ask right now to help you understand the structure of their understanding of the situation?
Questions such as:
"What do you value most in this situation?"
"What would your ideal outcome for today be?"
"What is your intention for today's meeting?"
"What do you love most about your position at this company?"
Are all very basic, but great questions to BEGIN to understand someone else's interpretation of reality - their Map.
After you ask the question, allow yourself TIME TO DIGEST THEIR ANSWER. Ask a few clarifying questions. Do what you can to really GET their MAP of Reality. This may take practice especially if you are "leader" in the old-school sense. Leadership is no longer someone who stands at the head of the group and tells everyone what to do. This just doesn't work anymore. Leadership is the one who can understand the WHY of the group, and from that place inspire action.
The best way to do this is to get to know the terrain of their Map of Reality.
3. Finding "The Common Why" - FIRST
So you are both in the same office. Or on the same phone call. Or in the same retail store. Or whatever the environment is, you both are here, sharing space. There is a common reason for this, and no, it ain't just the money. That can be a big motivator, especially at the beginning, but it isn't what creates loyalty or relationships over time. It is VITAL for the success of any business to get so clear on the COMMON WHY between the provider and the customer and even more CRITICAL between employees, peers, and those who are leading this endeavor.
If there is not a clear common why, you will see big employee turnover, and giant communication blowouts.
The best way to avoid a communication blowout is to get to the COMMON WHY, FIRST.
Why are we all here today?
What do we all have invested today that we share?
What has us say yes to spend the majority of our waking hours with each other, in this way?
What is the BIGGER VISION that we are all dedicated to in this company?
NOTE: If you are unclear as you what your PERSONAL WHY is, it is going to be doubly challenging to find a COMMON WHY. A strong leader is someone who knows how to guide their employees, client, or customers to understand and buy into a COMMON WHY. This only works with a strong and clear PERSONAL WHY. WLnlp is a great place to start to get so clear on your PERSONAL WHY and create the magnetism around you to be a professional and natural leader.
As you may already sense, these three insights will not only support you in business communication, but in all forms of communication. When you have cleared up the limiting beliefs about yourself, when you really practicing getting their Map of Reality, and when you can come to a COMMON WHY, communication can flow much more creatively, openly and effectively.
Briana Cavion, MA, MAnlp
Briana is a Communication and Relationship Coach for WholeLife Neuro-Linguistic Programing (wholelifenlp.com). She and her clients get real about what is working (and not) in their careers and relationships. She has been described as having a "magical" way of helping her clients identify and release what has been slowing them down, stopping them and sabotaging their communication and relationships. Together they journey to discover personal power, soulful leadership and authentic communication. She works from the premise that life is not about one goal achieved after another, or one relationship onto the next, but an incredible opportunity to create the truest expression of your highest purpose, greatest impact and deepest gifts.